Is It OK to Tell Parents What to Pack in Their Kid’s Lunchbox?
| October 10, 2013 | Posted by Stacy under Healthy lunch, Healthy school snacks, Healthy snacks, School lunch |
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the strongly worded guidelines on snacks packed from home in my twins’ back-to-school packet. (See Kindergarten Teachers Cracking Down on Junky Classroom Snacks). “Please send something with your child that is healthy,” it read, followed by three definitive words.” Absolutely no CANDY.”
I shared the news on my School Bites Facebook page, and people cheered. Only one reader questioned the junky snack crackdown: “Honestly, even as much as I am ‘pro-healthy snack,’ that letter would bother me. I get the intent, but the “we will be checking” [students’ snacks/lunchboxes] thing will turn people off. There are parents that will do it just to spite.”
Not long after, I spotted this headline on the New York Times Motherlode blog: Dear Parent: The Lunch You Packed Was Nutritionally Inadequate.
“I have been scolded for including yogurt, which ‘your daughter doesn’t like’ (she chose it — what do you want me to do?),” KJ Dell’Antonia wrote in her piece. “I have been chastised for not following the ‘no candy rule’ (I thought a single Hershey’s Kiss was a healthy dessert choice). I have had my husband stay my hand when I suggested including a mini-can of soda in a Friday lunch for a treat for a child who was having a tough time at preschool–‘Are you kidding me? They’ll throw us out!’”
Mmmmmmm, yes, she does have a point.
THE SCHOOL LUNCH POLICE
Sad to say, but some kids’ home-packed lunches are so nutritionally lacking that some teachers and schools are taking it upon themselves to step in. I’m talking lunchboxes packed with highly processed packaged foods that are high in salt and sugar and bereft of nutrients–hardly the kind of sustenance that a child needs to stay healthy, calm and focused in class.
Personally, I don’t have a problem with our kindergarten teacher’s snack mandate. I view it as an effort to keep kids well fueled for learning and life. But I do wonder if it is, in fact, a school’s place to tell a parent what kind of food to pack. My guess is that the kindergarten teachers in my twins’ school are sick of watching kids misbehave after eating the wrong things, or feel a responsibility to help guide parents into making better choices. Rather than impose strict rules (which are almost certain to anger some parents), however, could there be a less in-your-face approach?
I still remember when my oldest child’s kindergarten teacher sent home a note asking parents to refrain from sending in sugary treats like frosted muffins. While I very rarely packed cookies and other sweet treats in his lunchbox, I had included a single cream-cheese frosted carrot mini muffin (made with whole-wheat pastry flour and applesauce) that week. While I wasn’t being specifically targeted, the teacher’s note did make me feel embarrassed, criticized and, yes, a little defensive.
Bottom line : If schools ARE going to attempt to dictate what kids can and cannot eat, then they better be sure that they have a solid understanding of nutrition. All too often, suggested “healthy” snack lists in schools include foods (like Goldfish crackers and pretzels) that are highly processed and of questionable nutritional value. In the end, I guess the question is: Who gets to decide which foods are acceptable and which aren’t?
What’s your feeling? Is it Ok for schools to tell parents what they can and cannot pack in their child’s lunchbox? Comments, please!!
I created this blog to raise awareness and start a dialogue about the various issues involved in school food. By writing about it, I hope to provide parents and educators with ideas and inspiration for making healthy changes in their own schools. Since healthy eating habits start at home, I also address common feeding challenges faced by parents.
This is a really tricky topic. You’re spot on when you say that one person’s “healthy” is another’s equivalent to potato chips.
For me, I’m most concerned about what MY kids are eating in their lunch boxes, at snack time, and at school parties. While my version of “treats” are like yours (whole wheat, unprocessed, free from artificial ingredients), I would gladly leave them out for the greater good of having a school-wide wellness policy about what foods can and cannot be served or packed.
I think it’s really important to raise awareness with parents regarding healthy eating, and if they are “forced” to comply with it in school lunches and snacks, perhaps they’ll think twice about sending in triple-frosted cupcakes for their kids’ birthdays parties.
Yes, the definition of “healthy” can vary widely from one person to another, can’t it? A lot depends on education and personal beliefs. I also think that having an overall message of healthy and wellness at a school (preferably starting with a strong wellness policy) can set the tone for better food choices for everyone, from kids to parents to teachers. Thanks so much for weighing in, Kristi! Always love to hear from you!!!
And to add to Kristi’s comment, the nanny-state school food police had better not be using M&M math or Pizza Hut coupons for reading. You can go far telling me what to do, and I’ll be pretty compliant, but the first whiff of hypocrisy will have me all over you…
Oh, SO true! If a school is going to tell parents what to pack in their kids’ lunchboxes, they better practice what they preach in the classroom, at school celebrations, and in the cafeteria. Thanks so much for your comment, Emily!
I agree. I work at school as a lunch lady. The govt rules on feeding the children are good. All of our breads or grains are whole grain, pizza, noodles, buns, bread and all the breading on our foods. We do not use any trans fat, and it is not allowed in anything we serve. The children just won’t eat half of what we serve them. But, what really upsets me is we have to follow all these rules by the govt. and the teachers are giving them popsicles, ice cream parties, donuts and fruit punch etc. kids that are difficult get ice cream coupons for good behavior. But the teachers complain because the children take to long to eat their healthy breakfast or because we sell sunflower seeds as a snack because the kids take to long to eat them. To me, it’s all about control. All of it is about who is in control. I hate all of it. And I see it all first hand.
Melody — I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to have to adhere to certain rules designed to get kids eating healthier meals, only to have others (teachers, parents, principals, etc.) give them junky snacks that leave them disinterested in the healthy stuff. That’s why I think the Smart Snacks in Schools guidelines should apply to ALL foods available on school grounds, not just those sold in cafeterias, vending machines and school stores. Clearly, we still have a long way to go to clean up the food environment in our schools!
I agree it’s tricky. Because there are different definitions of what constitutes healthy, and some honestly have no clue (USDA, hello, I’m talking to YOU), it would be a slippery slope. Plus the whole “food police” to check lunch boxes would just take it too far.
I think a good compromise would be to send a letter at the beginning of the year that asks for individual healthy, “learning” snacks/lunches and NO community food (no party cupcakes/candy/junk/etc.) Sure, some parents will get their underwear in a twist, but my gosh do we really need sugar-overloaded, chemical-filled cupcakes at 10am every month for birthdays?! Or aybe ONE yearly party for birthdays and ONE for the holiday season? Say food brought in by parents can only be fruit or veggies? Or bring what you want for the class, but it can NOT be eaten at school and must be sent home?
I feel like there are always options, but other parents infringing on what I believe my child should or shouldn’t eat is not one. I actually took my son out of one preschool program because (among other reasons) the 3-year-olds had community snack. I’ve seen what his classmates have brought in. A Capri-Sun and chocolate covered Oreos in my opinion do not make a decent snack. Yuck.
I’m SO ready to do away with “community food.” It is such a can of worms! I think that most parents would adapt really quickly to the kind of rules you suggest. In a matter of time, they would forget that there ever were cupcakes…just as people have forgotten they used to smoke in restaurants. Thank you for your comment, Christine!!
Great piece! I don’t think it’s appropriate — or effective — for schools to “tell” families what to send in. Shaming families to make changes won’t produce the result that we all want. That said, I do think it’s appropriate for schools to provide guidelines for snacks or party food that is going to be enjoyed by the whole class.
Caron — I love hearing your voice of reason. I think the real problem is the school has no guidelines about classroom food so teachers have taken it upon themselves to try to clean up the food environment. Really, it’s the administration that should be taking a stance, not so much on lunchbox food but on food brought in for parties (or just limiting junk food celebrations altogether).
I agree that it’s such a tricky topic. One problem is that the “solid understanding of nutrition” is a pretty gray area too. Is your muffin made with applesauce acceptable but a store-bought muffin isn’t? Is a fruit leather acceptable if I made it at home but not if it comes from a box? The answer changes depending who you ask–even two dietitians might have different answers. And if schools are going to start dictating what parents can pack, they better be sure the school-provided lunches are healthy too–and by healthy, I don’t just mean meeting the guidelines for the School Lunch Program. A plastic-covered tray of chicken nuggets isn’t “healthy” to me!
“If schools are going to start dictating what parents can pack, they better be sure the school-provided lunches are healthy, too.” Right on, Sally!!! I know the teachers who are cracking down on junky looking snacks are doing so with good intentions. But apparently, they also consider pretzels a healthy snack. Wish there was a universal definition–would make things a lot easier!
Tricky topic — but a great one. My son’s preschool says “please pack a nut-free lunch and please try to make it healthful without sugary sweets and highly processed foods.“
My daughter’s school says nothing on the matter.
Frankly I think that the notion of what constitutes “healthy” varies widely. And dietary restrictions also come into play. In my research for my apps I discovered that WHAT goes into the lunchbox is a really personal matter. If we want people to “eat better,” we have to decide and agree upon what constitutes eating better and then invest heavily in educating parents about the choices they make.
There’s an organization I’m a big fan of called the Children’s Health Fund and they’ve done a great deal of research into how poor nutrition hampers learning. I would imagine that schools who impose these kinds of restrictions are well-meaning but I think it becomes problematic when we approach these issues from a didactic standpoint without first trying to listen, understand and educate.
Gillian — Thanks for the heads up on the Children’s Health Fund; I think it is based in Great Britain, right? I will investigate! To me, it also is a problem of people without proper qualifications determining the nutrition guidelines. Seems like every school district should have a child nutrition director/R.D. on board (in the same way that they have school nurses and school psychologists). And as you say, more time and care (i.e., listen, understand and educate) needs to go into the issue of food brought from home. Thanks for coming by and adding to the conversation!!
I am all for “suggesting” what to pack in lunches (maybe even offering up creative suggestions as to what can be packed), but to put in “and absolutely no sugar” is going to cause some parents to raise up on their haunches and throw in Oreos and cupcakes just for spite. My son is now three, and for the past three years, I have (maybe I’m just paranoid) felt the judgmental stares of strangers judging me on my parenting of my child in public. I really don’t need that judgment from his teachers in a year-and-a-half.
Further, in some cases in the school district here, it’s gone beyond “don’t bring it” to outright rifling through a child’s lunchbox and confiscating (I would call it stealing) a treat that a parent accidentally through in (as I heard from one of my coworkers, a middle school teacher, who, at 5 a.m. when she was racing around trying to get ready for work and her son ready for school, accidentally placed the wrong drink in her son’s lunchbox). To me, that presents a HORRRIBLE message to the child. The parent is wrong; the school is right. As a teacher, regardless of how often I may think that, I am not going to say that to one of my students. Yet, in effect, that’s exactly what happens.
I do feed my child healthy, balanced meals. He does make healthy choices (Yes, even at his age). But, just as I would not legislate my morals and food choices on someone else, I do not feel it is that person’s right to do so on me.
P.S. The “healthy new guideline” school lunches? Wouldn’t that mean that they would have to serve something other than pizza with the grease dripping off of it?
Hi Susan — I totally see your point and agree that there’s a big difference between “encouraging” healthy snacks and “policing” kids’ lunchboxes. To my knowledge, there has not been a backlash to our Kindergarten teacher’s “NO SUGAR” mandate. I am interested to know whether any parents have challenged her on it; I’ll have to ask her! As for the “healthy new guideline” school lunches: Oh, there’s still plenty of pizza, maybe with slightly less grease, but it’s now paired with a fruit and veggie. But there’s still a long way to go before we can truly call our school lunches “healthy.”
Im truly upset by this. Its not the schools place to tell me what to feed my son. Like today I packed him a pbj carrets an apple juice a banana and a pudding and they called me at work to rip into me about a pudding cup !! Really u got to be kidding me
Tyler — So sorry that happened to you. Sounds like you packed a nice lunch for your son. I think the whole food thing at school is pretty screwed up.
The schools have no business telling me what I should feed my kid. If you want to send your kid to school with a bottle of water and apple for lunch that’s your choice. If I want to send mine with a can of pop and cold pizza, that’s mine. Stay out of my business.
I have a problem with people telling me what I can or cannot bring to school. I understand that I can’t really bring some things because of allergies because I have a child with a few. That, I don’t have a problem with and will happily adjust for the good of the children. However, the teachers are not the children’s parents. They did not pay for the food I am supplying my children.
I, personally, don’t think it’s a food issue when it comes to obesity. Most of it, I think, is them not moving enough. There are people who ate junk food as a kid but basically burned off all of the fat they just ate by running, jumping and playing until bedtime. They are taking away PE courses and recesses just because they keep pushing children to sit in a desk all day to memorize and spit out facts.
Let the kids be kids. Let them eat what they are willing to eat and don’t push them. They are just kids who are still learning. They will survive and their taste buds will change as they grow.
No…the schools sole and specific role is to educate the child, not raise them or educate their parents. If a child consistently has no lunch, or dangerous foods (spoiled)…this is another matter. Otherwise, absolutely not. A fine teacher can be gold in a childs life, yet they retain no ownership over our children.…aside from issues of safety (abuse), a teacher does not supercede a parent. They do however, deserve our respect and gratitude for the difficult jobs they perform in properly educating our children.
If a parent wants to sign their child up for a hot lunch program, then that parent is giving the school permission to dictate the foods available to their child.
If a parent does not want their child to eat what the school believes is appropriate, the parent IS THE PARENT and has the final say on what the child will eat.
Schools need to stay within their boundaries.